I am Damaged
by IceAge Mutant
Summary: Shira had never liked the color red. Inspired by the song, "I'm Damaged" from Heathers the musical. Rated M for Suicide, implied gun violence and murder, and language


**Hey guys, long time no see. I got this idea after listening to the soundtrack from Heathers the musical (which is not something I recomend doing for +3 hours because you WILL cry and WILL be very, very sad). So anyways this is based off the final scene/ song, "i'm damaged", go ahead and give it a listen after or before you read the story to get the premis. In short, one of the main characters plans to blow up their school, but in the end blows up himself. Thats why this is rated M, it deals with implied school shootings, suicide, and abuse. Enjoy the angst !**

Shira had never liked the color red, but at that moment it was all she saw.

"You son of a bitch!" She yelled, swinging her boyfriend- no EX boyfriend into the edge of the bathroom sink. He let out a grunt of pain, dropping his gun, which clattered to the floor. She couldn't believe him. Well, actually she could. He did murder three people after all, but still, the last two were supposed to be it. They were supposed to be normal after that. But then she found out he was going to shoot up the school.

He pushed himself off the sink and tried to grab for her but she raked her nails across his cheek when he brought her close enough, adding more blood to his body. "You're a fucking psycho! What the hell happened to our agreement?!"

"Psychos don't keep agreements," He spat, slamming his fist into her chin and making her stumble back. "Sweetheart."

Shira felt her skull hit the tiled wall of the boys bathroom. Her jaw throbbed from the blow she received. Looking down, she saw his knuckles were bloody as he reached for his gun that had slid under the sink. "Diego please!" Shira cried. "You don't have to do this!"

He Glared at her as he picked up the weapon. His green eyes had never looked so sickly to her before."Yes I do. Them. This school. Everything this place stands for is a representation of what the world strives for!" He yelled back at her, swinging his gun around. "The only way to show what's wrong with this hellbent society is to make an example of where we're heading. That's how you create change!"

"No it isn't!" She cried, pushing herself from the wall. "I know you're hurt. I know you feel betrayed by your family. I wish your mom hadn't committed suicide.I wish your dad hadn't manipulated you into thinking the world is a horrible place. I wish you could understand that everything that's happened didn't need to!" She motioned to the locked door of the bathroom. "I wish you'd realize the world isn't always war! I wish you could understand that it doesn't have to be this way!"

"Something has to be done." He said coldly.

"By committing a mass murder?! You won't be anything but another story on the news!" Tears welled up in her eyes as she pushed him. "Don't do this! Don't cause this much pain to others! Don't cause this pain to me!" He looked at her for a moment, his green eyes showing her that sympathy they had on the first day they met and he found it about her life. Her struggle with her "friends". "Don't do this to me, Diego. Don't ruin what we've built."

The sympathy was gone in a flash. "You're causing me just as much pain."

The last the she saw was the hilt of the gun coming towards her.

Her head throbbed. The tile floor as cold beneath her hands and legs as Shira attempted to push herself up. What time was it? Had he already gone through with it?

"You're one of the few people who know how damaged I am."

She shot her head up, and act which sent a jolt of pain up her neck. Her eyes met with his as he sat propped up across the room on the other wall. The gun still rested in his hands, fully loaded. He looked so hopeless, so tired. She wondered if was just the exhaustion which kept him from killing her when he had the chance

"I'm very badly, horribly damaged." He chuckled. "I'm beyond the point of no return."

"Yeah you are." She agreed, pursing her lips in pain as she forced herself to sit up against the wall. "You've murdered three people. On all accounts you're a serial killer already. Then you decided to execute a school shooting…." she sighed, pressing her head back to look at the ceiling lights. They were brighter than the morning light outside. The sun had just come up completely. The bell would ring soon. "Your all kinds of fucked up."

"Yeah well you helped do that to me." He smirked, obviously in pain. "Can I get a goodbye kiss?"

She threw him a pointless glance.

"Guess not." He sighed. "I can't stay here much longer. This world. You. It's all pointless. Thanks for the ride, toots." He smiled softly. "What are you going to do without me bringing some excitement to your life now that I'm dead to you?"

"I'll lead a quiet life." She replied. "No more murders, no more killing, no more death."

He chuckled, reaching into his pocket and tossing her a carton of cigarettes and a lighter. "As my next of kin, I leave to you my only reliable possessions. Enjoy."

She picked them up, taking a cigarette out of the carton and rolling it in between her fingers. "You can't atone for what you've done, can you?"

"If I did I'd spend the rest of my life in prison. I'd rather go out on my own terms." He said resting the gun on his knee. "Like the way I lived. You on the other hand, you can get away with this. So enjoy." They were silent for a few minutes, just looking at each other. He gazed sadly at her, tears in his eyes as he made a pathetic smile. "...thanks for the ride."

"No thanks needed."

The corners of his mouth pulled in as his tears started to fall. Shira could feel her own run down her face as they looked at each other.

"I love you, Blue Eyes."

"I loved you too." She watched as he lifted the gun to his mouth, but She couldn't watch when he pulled the trigger. The bang was loud enough to paint the picture for her. She let out a shaky breath when she heard the gun drop to the floor. She took the lighter he had given her out of her pocket, and lit his cigarette. She picked herself up, took a puff, and walked across the room to unlock the door.

She had never liked the color red.

Hoped you liked it. And a new chapter of of CVH should be up soonish... its the last two chapters so i'm just trying to get them right.


End file.
